New Year

So it is officially 2017.  Dad has been gone almost 1 year.  I can hardly believe it.  There are days I want to call and talk to him, hear his voice, tell him how things are.  But I can't.. Still haven't deleted his number from my phone, tho I know its no longer his..  He and I weren't close but I miss him desperately, wish I knew if he was proud of me...

Sad Days...

Almost two weeks ago my dad passed away..  it was a quick trip home.

I thought it was just going home, check up on him, spend a little time with him, and fly back home to Bismarck.  Sadly that was not the case.  We found out the Monday before I flew out that he had stage 4 cancer.  No one is sure where the cancer started but they did find a lump on his lung.  His original stay was due to the extreme pain he was in because of his hip.. 

Guess I'm still a little blown away by this all.  Its weird that he's gone, he was still fairly young... only 68 years old. 

I just read my sister's blog and now all I can do is cry.  Because I feel similarly to her.   Am I making him proud?  Does he know how much he's loved and missed?  She has it much harder than me, she's surrounded by everything that reminds her of him, everything that is him.  He and I were never very close, not like sis and him.  Our relationship was much different.  We did things, hung out occasionally, had dinner, played golf, we just did things.  I never really talked a whole lot with him.  It was just our relationship.  Its weird knowing I'm never going to get to have our stilted conversations, the "hi, how are you, how are things, how's the weather" conversations.  

I had a dream with him in it last night.  It was the kind where it was like real life and he and I were arguing because heaven forbid that he was wrong about anything.  Made me smile and sad at the same time, because I know I will never hear his voice again, except in my dreams, and even there, there is no guarantee that I will truly remember the timber...  tho we argued and disagreed (a lot), I will miss him, he is my dad, my first real hero..

New Beginnings

As a few of you may know, it has been almost a month since moving to North Dakota.  It has been a trip so far.   Knowing that my family is about 2000 miles away, and his is just right up the road.   For the first part of our relationship, my family had been there just about every step of the way.  Now, its his family's turn I guess you could say. 

The first Friday we were here, we met for dinner and drinks with family and a couple that his folks know.  I met and talked with his cousin Kim.  She's a neat lady and very into Relay for Life.  I can understand.  Both of her parents are gone, her mom passed from breast cancer a few years ago.

Our first delivery we received was from my favorite flower lady, Tracey.  She sent us a nice arrangement with this one cool flower tho I can never remember what its called, pine cones, twigs, and small white flowers.  It really made me feel happy, after the stress of the move and all.

Christmas was different but fun.  We had Christmas Eve dinner with his parents, the kids, Aunt Linda, and his brother Tyler (who I've finally got to meet).  After dinner, we unwrapped gifts.  I got lots of bath stuff (yay!), fuzzy socks, plus a book about a woman who helped settle North Dakota.  I'm really enjoying it so far!!  From his brother, we got a couple of gift cards, which works cuz we enjoy eating out every once in a while!  Christmas Day we hung out around the apartment til dinner time, then back over to his folks for dinner with Tyler, mom and dad, Ericka, Linda and her friend John.    All in all, a very nice Christmas.

Next thing that happened is that I started working at David's Bridal.  I'm sure most of you that know me are thinking, she's working in a dress shop?!?!  And the answer is yes, and I am really enjoying it.  Its nice coming home not covered in dirt and grease.  Don't get me wrong, I loved my job, mostly because of the customers.  Got my first pay check on Friday.  Whoo-hoo!  Income again!!!

New Year's was pretty quiet.  Spent the night here in the apartment, after taking Austin, Sabrina, and a friend of theirs out to dinner to celebrate Austin getting a job.   New Year's day we spent most of out at the farm with the dogs.  Got some really fun pictures of the 4 of them playing in the snow!  Bailey is really enjoying farm life.  I miss having them around tho.  This place is pretty quiet without canines around.  But alas, not allowed to have them here.  I'm making plans to go out and see them this week.  Maybe tomorrow..

Futures now entwining

Hard to believe that in just over 8 months, Ryan and I will have been together for 2 years!  Crazy huh?  He is everything that I could ever need.  He is my rock, my pillow, my ear, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend, And now he has a new title.  Fiance. Yes, Fiance.  He proposed to me the week before we left for my friend Dawn's wedding.  It was simple, just us at home.  We had talked about it since we were now living together. It was a Monday night.  The ring is a square cut diamond with 2 smaller stones flanking the sides with a woven 2 strand band.  In silver of course.

We have talked about an April wedding in 2015.  Official date up in the air tho I think we will be going with the 11th.  Nevada in the spring can be beautiful.  Can be miserable too! hahahaha! So gotta plan for that case.

Plans are already in the works.  Well at least with me.  I have a dress picked out, tho not yet purchased.  Minister is already agreed to do the ceremony, colors picked out, flowers already in discussion.  Things not yet really worked out is guest list, locations, arrangements, photographer, and invites.  You know, the little things. (laughs)  So if anyone knows of a good, inexpensive photographer, let me know! Bahahaha!

It is short, but not much to discuss right now.  Next post, I will post a photo of the beautiful shiny that I now sport daily!


[Spring is] when life's alive in everything.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)

In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, when birds do sing... sweet lovers love the spring.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), As You Like It, Act V, sc. 3

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes unnecessary.
Ingrid Bergman (1915 - 1982)

Ranting..

For the 3rd time this year, I have to get a new debit card... I'm really starting to hate banks.....

1 year

Its hard to believe that this Friday, Ryan and I have been together 1 year!  We've had tough times a plenty, but we've had some really great times too! I've got to do things with him that I never got to do with my ex. Its wonderful! And I'm not talking about vacations and the like. I'm talking littles things like cuddling and dancing and cooking together and dinner with another couple!!!

Our vacation to North Dakota was so much fun, I can't wait to go back! It was a vacation where I didn't have to go anywhere or do anything but enjoy myself. And I did!

And I got to know his mom better, learned about his brother some more and I even cooked dinner one night.  I learned more about farm life and more about sheep castration than I care to know!  Hung out with his dad a couple of days by playing golf with him.  Just so you all know, he beat me both days but he was impressed with my game. 

Was really sad to leave there just fell in love with it there! To alter an old song title, I left my heart in North Dakota.

Sorry this is short, but I am on my phone and its about to die!

So to conclude:

Here's to our 1st year as a couple, and to our continued journey together!

31. 41. Memorial Day. Vacation!

In just under 2 weeks I will be visiting far off places! Well, to me anyhow! I will be going with Ryan and Austin to North Dakota.  I am so excited!!  To see the place where Ryan grew up, see where some history took place, ah! Can't wait!

It has officially been 1 month since my 31st birthday and to date, it has by far been the best!  I saw a wonderful couple say their I dos before their family and friends on that day. Ryan had bought me some very beautiful pink lilies and a very nice card to go with them.  But that wasn't all, I had my other gift at his place.  I didn't get to open that til day after.  Turned out it was a sailor bear (Ryan is retired Navy), and he (the bear) sings Anchors Away. Very cute!! Domino wasn't quite sure what to do when I was playing with the bear, making it sing.  He kept backing away.  ahahaha!

And just 2 short weeks later was Ryan's 41st birthday, or as he's now calling it, the 1st anniversary of turning 40.  He tells me that 40 was a pretty good year for him.  He tells me that its because he met me, a true companion, his girlfriend.  Makes me feel warm fuzzies when he tells me that.  I too tell him that 30 was great cuz I met someone that makes me feel as good as he does.  Anyhow, onto the real tale.  We went to Berlin-Ichthyosaur National Park for his birthday.  I couldn't really do what I wanted, which was to take him to lunch in Reno, broke you know... It turned out to be a really fun time! Erin, Ryan, and I toured some of the old building in the mining town of Berlin, then got a non-tour tour of the Ichthyosaur fossils.  Our tour guide was a character.  He told us how the fossils were found, how they believe that there is at least 4 animals there.  Showed us different types of ichthyosaur, shared interesting facts, and even cracked some jokes. Great time. :)  We got back to Fallon, had some pizza at Pizza Hut, then called it a day. Usually on Mondays, I try to come back to Yerington, after our long day, I decided I was too tired to drive home.

Memorial Day was fun this year too.  It marked the 1 year anniversary of my friend Erin to her husband Jimmy. It was kinda funny that I was in Fallon, on that same day, exactly one year previous.  Well, made me chuckle.  Since mom was also in Fallon with me that day as she was a year ago.  Anyhoo, Ryan and I held a BBQ for a few people.  We had invited Erin, Jackie, mom, Ila, Garry, and Ed.  Sadly Erin and Jackie couldn't make it.  For good reasons. Jackie was trying to aquaint her new kitten to her older cat and it was Erin's anniversary.  It was fun none the less.  Ryan and I had provided drinks, burgers, and chips.  Mom had brought a delicious fruit salad, Ila had brought potato salad and Garry (hahaha) and Ed had brought deviled eggs.  Good times, good conversation, and good friends. That is what BBQs are about!!

Like I'd mentioned, I will be going on vacation in less that 2 weeks! I really can hardly wait! Can't wait to see his mom and dad again, meet his daughter, and visit the farm that Ryan keeps telling me he won't get me off of!

 Have a great night folks! Will write again soon!!