Futures now entwining

Hard to believe that in just over 8 months, Ryan and I will have been together for 2 years!  Crazy huh?  He is everything that I could ever need.  He is my rock, my pillow, my ear, my shoulder to cry on, my best friend, And now he has a new title.  Fiance. Yes, Fiance.  He proposed to me the week before we left for my friend Dawn's wedding.  It was simple, just us at home.  We had talked about it since we were now living together. It was a Monday night.  The ring is a square cut diamond with 2 smaller stones flanking the sides with a woven 2 strand band.  In silver of course.

We have talked about an April wedding in 2015.  Official date up in the air tho I think we will be going with the 11th.  Nevada in the spring can be beautiful.  Can be miserable too! hahahaha! So gotta plan for that case.

Plans are already in the works.  Well at least with me.  I have a dress picked out, tho not yet purchased.  Minister is already agreed to do the ceremony, colors picked out, flowers already in discussion.  Things not yet really worked out is guest list, locations, arrangements, photographer, and invites.  You know, the little things. (laughs)  So if anyone knows of a good, inexpensive photographer, let me know! Bahahaha!

It is short, but not much to discuss right now.  Next post, I will post a photo of the beautiful shiny that I now sport daily!


[Spring is] when life's alive in everything.
Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)

In the spring time, the only pretty ring time, when birds do sing... sweet lovers love the spring.
William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), As You Like It, Act V, sc. 3

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
David Viscott, How to Live with Another Person, 1974

A kiss is a lovely trick, designed by nature, to stop words when speech becomes unnecessary.
Ingrid Bergman (1915 - 1982)

1 year

Its hard to believe that this Friday, Ryan and I have been together 1 year!  We've had tough times a plenty, but we've had some really great times too! I've got to do things with him that I never got to do with my ex. Its wonderful! And I'm not talking about vacations and the like. I'm talking littles things like cuddling and dancing and cooking together and dinner with another couple!!!

Our vacation to North Dakota was so much fun, I can't wait to go back! It was a vacation where I didn't have to go anywhere or do anything but enjoy myself. And I did!

And I got to know his mom better, learned about his brother some more and I even cooked dinner one night.  I learned more about farm life and more about sheep castration than I care to know!  Hung out with his dad a couple of days by playing golf with him.  Just so you all know, he beat me both days but he was impressed with my game. 

Was really sad to leave there just fell in love with it there! To alter an old song title, I left my heart in North Dakota.

Sorry this is short, but I am on my phone and its about to die!

So to conclude:

Here's to our 1st year as a couple, and to our continued journey together!

Year 31

Soon I will be 31. This last year has been quite..not sure what the right word would be.  Its had its ups and also its down. My faith has definitely been tested.  And I wouldn't trade it for the world! Well maybe a couple things..I am human.  I lost what I thought could be something, many friends loves nose dived, a friend left for new adventures, an old one came back, dad had a heart attack, new baby niece, and my favorite: Ryan. He has made me happier than I have been in a long time.  Makes me smile when he's not around, I feel special to him. Beautiful too. 

Austin has become quite important to me also.  He is one of a kind that kid. He's straight forward and sees things in fairly black and white. After dealing with adults that your not sure about their honesty, he's a breath of fresh air!

Dad's heart attack scared me beyond belief.. I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for my friends and loved ones.  If I had lost him...that's an image I don't care to think about.

My newest niece was born in February, I can hardly wait to meet her!! My sister and her family are moving back. That alone is going to be an adventure for her and I working together.

Here's to number 31! May it bring many happy adventures and much love to me, Ryan, and all my beloveds!

Pre-Valentine's Day

As the holiday of flowers, candy, and cards approaches, I am thankful for many things. I know this is not that holiday, I still want to say thanks.

First off, I am thankful my father is still alive.  He had a mild heart attack about 2 1/2 weeks ago.  It could've been worse, luckily it wasn't.  He had some medical training back when he was on the Fire Department, so he knew what was going on.

Secondly, thankful for my friends.  Tho many of them are going thru rough patches in their own relationships, they are still my friends and I am glad that they can confide in me as I did in them when I went thru my own romantic non-bliss. May love shine upon them and may they find happiness.

And thirdly, I am thankful for the love of a good, kind, and wonderful man.  Ryan is everything a girl could ever ask for.  He came into my life and it hasn't been the same.  He makes me laugh, lets me cry, he is my rock in rough seas, my breeze on the smooth seas.  He has become my best friend.  I love him like I have no other.  And anymore, I cannot imagine my life without him now.

The basis of my blog, thank you

Vegas weekend

The first over night out of town trip with Ryan, success!  He and I had a ball while in Vegas.  He took me down the Fremont Street Experience.  Many shops and casinos and kiosks. Casinos obviously since it is Vegas!  Even zip-liners overhead.  Looked pretty cool.  Might have to try it next time we go. :)    Then we went back to the hotel and just hung out.  Very relaxing.

Monday morning we met up with my world traveler friend Amber.  Was great to see her again, she seems to be enjoying the area.  She gave us some coupons to some of the exhibits in the area.  The one I really wanted to see was the DaVinci exhibit.  Did a bit of searching online, found out it wasn't open til Tuesday.  Made me sad.  So instead we went to the Titanic exhibit at the Luxor Hotel.  That was quite the site.  The artifacts from such a sad piece of history.  Even a piece of her side was on display there.  It took two years to desalt the metal and keep it from rusting out.  The pieces that belonged to passengers, some survived, most not.  Chilling to see.

Also, before we even took our tour, we had our pictures taken.  The guy doing it really has the personality to do the job.  I am ordering a copy of one of our photos.  Gonna be an anniversary gift for Ryan.  In honor of this trip. *smile*

wowee wow wow

Well much has happened in the last month, hence no recent blogs. 

First off on a bit of a high note.  Started hanging out with a new guy.  Not sure what we are yet, but I do enjoy spending time with him, he makes me laugh.  I really like him (yeah high school-clichey here but its how I feel..) and I get the impression he feels very similar.  Just afraid to ask.  Lately I haven't had a good track record with men.. (Justin comes to mind....loser.)  I really enjoy spending time with him and just hanging out with him.  I'd love to spend more time with him and him living here in my hometown makes it easy when we do.  Who knows, just got to let God work in His mysterious ways and be patient (tho its never been an easy virtue for me to deal with, being rather impatient when its something I really, REALLY want).

Secondly, my father is currently still recovering from his bout with double pnuemonia.  Yes, double.  He'd fallen and while recovering at home, he'd slept, flat on his back, for 48 hours.  Fluid built up, breathing became very shallow.  Thankfully my wonderful aunt, she called and got him to the hospital in time.  I will love her forever for this.  He was very close to dying.  I don't know what I'd do if he had...I really don't want to... On a good note tho is that my sister and neice are coming down to visit us! I can hardly wait to see them!!  I wish she lived closer so I could spoil!! 

Good note, my dear friend Jackie and I are going to town to go to the movies.  We plan on seeing The Hunger Games.  I've read all three books in the series before of the inkling of a movie.  Now that that has happened, I'm excited to see how it compares since the author of the books actually co-wrote the screenplan and chose the actress that plays Katniss.  Yay! So excited for Monday!!!

here we go again...

Uncle Kracker Livin' the Dream

Once again I am single.  In this case, its not so bad.  No broken heart, no hopes and dreams dashed, nada.  As sweet a person as Justin was, we just viewed what was important differently.  I figured hanging out, spending time together was important.  Him, sex.  Sure I enjoy it, but really? Thats all that seemed to be on his mind.  I know I know, cliche right?  But I want more out of a relationship than just physicality.  I want that warm fuzzy feeling, that feeling that you know its just right.  Truthfully, I never had that with him.  He was a stepping stone back out into the dating pool.  He showed me that I am not fully ready for a serious relationship right now.  My wounds were still healing.  And to some extent, they still are.  I will treasure the fun I had with him.  I also know more about myself.  Like, tho I enjoy sex, I am not addicted to it.  When the feelings are right, I will know.  I have also come to know that I need a bit more God in my life.  I know this now.  Yes I have my family and my friends but they can't always be there for me when I need them.  With God, He is always there.  So I've started reading my Bible more.  Whether it be my actual book or my kindle version.  I know I need to find someone who understands my wants, needs.  Who understands that I choose to be here in this little town I grew up in, be around people that I know and love, and I will leave when I am fully ready, not before. 

Anyhow, this is the lastest with me.  Not much else.  Just work.  I have good faith that when I am truely ready,the right man will come along and out of the blue and it will be just what was meant for me. :)

Reading material

So lately I've been on quite of a bit of a reading kick.  I've started reading about 5 or 7 books, not sure cuz some are on my kindle.  Finished about 2 of them and started reading another.  Oh and I also picked up a new book at the grocery store.  What? It was only 7 dollars...

One of the ones I've started reading is one I've read before.  Its Chicken Soup for the Father and Daughter's Soul. Yeah I'm one of them.  I've read quite a few of them.  They're great and they're easy reads.  I highly recommend them.  Anyhow back on topic.  This book, if you couldn't tell Chicken Soup for the Father and Daughter Soul is about the relationship and love of a father and daughter.  I reminisce about my own memories about my dad.

Now if you know him, he appears gruff, grouchy, and just plain ornery.  But that's just the surface.  He is really the best man any girl could ask for in a dad.  He is loving, kind, funny, and loyal.  I wouldn't trade him for all the money, all the jewels in the world.  He is priceless.  No matter what his daughters get themselves into, he will always try to help the out.  He doesn't want to see us fail.  One of the nicest things I heard from my dad was said not too many years ago.  I had heard that he had said that I have gained and become quite knowledgeable about the store.  Well, it was something along those lines...the original comment made me choke up and cry.  Was a wonderful thing.  For a man like him to say that, a man that doesn't share feelings overly well till recently, spoke volumes. 

Another memory is on a little further back...and more a multitude of memorable moments.  I love traveling with my dad.  He's really laid back.  Plus when its just me and him, I feel more comfortable talking to him.  There are still some things I don't share with him, in the last 6 or so years, I do share more than what we had when I was a kid and teen. 

Dad connected with a couple cousins that he didn't know existed.  One, she lived in Florida.  Debby and dad really clicked.  He went down to visit her back in October 2010.  They talked constantly, emailed.  Then one day, dad didn't hear from her.  I really bothered him.  Understandably so.  We only found out recently what happened...she died...less that 60, I think she was barely even in her 50s...  I don't remember her brother's name, so I'll call him cousin, but dad reconnected with him.  Christmas Day he called cousin.  He and dad shared an emotionally charged conversation.  He was really hurtin' (cousin) that this was his first holiday without his sister.  The two men have made plans to get together and meet.  Was a wonderful Christmas on that respect.  *smile*

I love my dad.  I truly, truly dread the day that he is no longer here.. He is a one of a kind man, with a truly kind and generous soul.  Doing thing because the NEED to be done, not because they want the attention for doing so.  Grandpa raised him well.  The world will be a darker place when he is not down the street, not cracking it up at Ace..

ugh!

As I sit here on my couch on this 17th of June, listening to Sara Evan's newest album Stronger, I think about what has been going on in my mind and in my life.  I really feel this album really speaks to my frame of mind and what I'm feeling right now.  Such talented people involved in this album.  I highly recommend it.

The last few days I have been feeling like crap.  Wednesday I ended up with a sore throat and a stuffy nose.  The throat was bothering more than the nose.  I can deal with a stuffy nose, sore throat is a little tougher to deal with.  Today, after going to bed last night at around 8, I feel much much better!  Just a slight tickle in the throat and an extremely runny nose. (and no, I am not chasing after it.  It can come home when she's ready.)

Emotionally I'm not sure where I'm at.  I have been feeling rather lonely, since I have seen Tim only once in the last month.  Phone calls yes but not the same.  If we lived in different places its more understandable, but we both live here!  I miss when we'd hang out on weekends, either just him and I, or him, Megan (his daughter) and I.  We haven't done that in a long time either...I've been feeling rather left out of his life.  I love him but I don't think that even that is enough to keep me hanging around.  I'm going to try and talk to him about it when he gets home from his dad's.  That's been bugging me too.  His dad has just given up.  His health has had good days and bad days.  The bad days seem to be outnumbering the good. So his sister and he are going to (hopefully) talk some sense into him.  Maybe them being there and it being father's day this Sunday will knock some sense into the old man.  I love him, he is such a funny, dear man.  I'd hate to see the world without him in it.  It would be like losing my own grampa.

Speaking of grandfathers, today is the 11th anniversary of my grandpa's death.  Its been a tough day over all, considering everything else going on in my life.  Even tho its been over a decade since my family lost him, the pain still feels pretty fresh.  You see, he got me in a way that it seemed that no one else did.  As a child, I was pretty shy.  I think partly because I was the youngest in a fairly well-known family.  I was always "somebody's something".  Examples, I was "Cheryl's little sister (by teachers and students), Joe and Debby's daughter.  So I didn't have much of an identity till I went away to college.  Grampa got me.  He and I could sit together and not talk but still enjoy each other's company.  I loved him more than just about anyone.  Even to this day I feel that way.  On my seventh birthday, my grandparents got me a Barbie and a stuffed animal.  The doll has long since found a new home, but the stuffed animal I still have and cherish.  That animal?  A little stuffed skunk.  At first I wasn't too sure about it but I grew to love it, partly because my grampa gave it to me.  Well, every time they would go somewhere, the would try and find me a skunk.  My sister's senior trip, she even brought me home a Pepe Le Pew.  Still have him too.  In 2000, they made another trek to Arizona and yes, they brought me back a little beanie skunk.  Unfortunately it was the last one I would receive from my beloved grampa... We lost him June 17th, 2000.  One week after my high school graduation that he missed because he was in Washoe.  The 22nd, we held services for him.  Jim Sanford, former editor of the Mason Valley News delivered a beautiful eulogy.  Uncle Johnny gave a nice speech.  But the parts that make the biggest impression on me were the people that were there and the way that we ended the church portion on the service.  The people, wow, there were a lot.  The entire catholic church was filled and there were even people braving the early summer heat by standing outside.  And the ending?  Take me out to the ball game.  He was a huge San Fransisco Giants fan.  That was part of the annual trips to Arizona.  Giants training camp.  As long as I can remember, they never missed a one.  It was tough, to watch them put this larger than life man into the ground and forever gone from my sight.  Just thinking about this is making me cry.  I haven't really thought about the burial part of the funeral for quite a few years..

Yesterday I got to see my dear sisterfriend Jennifer!  She and her hubby Aaron came in and got fishing licenses, some tackle and a cooler, in case they caught something.  Unfortunately they didn't.  But I was super glad to see her!! I miss seeing her..wish we lived closer, or at least had a bit more time to spend together...

My friend Jackie has been in town for a few months now and we have been hanging out together, watching movies, cooking dinners, and just sharing laughter.  Telling stories about our past relationships or what man we'd like to with, family members (human and animal) dilemmas and the like.  She is currently going back to school to get a degree in the study of the eye.  Don't remember exactly what it was but it sounds pretty interesting. 

So this is what has been going on with me the last while.  Other than no time with Tim, I have been spending more time with dear friends, having fun with them since he doesn't seem to want with me.  I love my friends for being there for me.  Without them, I don't know where my mental state would be.  So a thank you out to all of them!!!  You are my rocks!!

This father's day, I am going to Topaz and spending the day with him and our dogs.  This will be the first time Bailey has ever gone swimming in a lake.  She's been river swimming but this will be interesting to see how she reacts to the lake! I know it will be a good day.  Dad and I get along better when we aren't at work..

memories...

As graduation looms upon us, I think about my own 11 years ago.

My last week is a bit of a blur.  Finals taking up most of my week, Friday was the day that me and my friends all looked forward to, for we would be outta there come Saturday.  I, like most of my classmates, were ready to get out and move on with our lives.  Some starting full time jobs, many off to college.  It was a sad event as well as a happy time, for my grandpa was in Washoe Med going on something like day 10.  He had broken his neck climbing through the beloved lake house's kitchen window, slipping on the sink.  I wonder what might've been had I been there, had he not climbed through the window.  Would my life be different?  Would I have come back to my home town?  What would I be doing instead of this?  Would he still be here?  These questions have run thru my head possibly millions of times over the last decade, but the answer is always the same...I don't know.  God only does, only does He know where my path will lead me. 

My plans after high school were to go to college, get my teaching degree so I could teach 2nd grade (because I love kids), meanwhile falling in love with my college sweetheart, after we both graduate, get married, and then start a family a little ways down the road.  But those plans changed.  I told my dad I would move home after graduation and help him out with my gramma.  She was still taking it hard 3 years after Grampa's death.   So there went my plans.  Also didn't help I was rather annoyed that I had to take advance maths and English to teach elementary school kids.  I know, the degree is technically a K-12 degree but still, they should break it down to elementary and middle/high school degrees.  But that's another topic all together.  So home I came.  Renewed some old acquaintances, made some new ones, fell in love.. Many years have gone by.  I've lost many loved ones.  My Grampa's brother and sister-in-law Uncle Joe and  Aunt Annabelle, my gramma, my gramma's brother Uncle Dorman, and my beloved nun aunties, Carolyn and Fidelis.  And thats just to name a few.  Happiness happed too.  I had met my boyfriend Tim, my sister got married to my wonderful brother Jay and they had my beautiful neice Brynn.  Now I look forward to the day that I get to have my own kids, whenever that might happen. I hope its sooner rather than later though, I'd really like to be able to chase after them and not be tired when I catch them! hahahahaha

Sunday Sunday pt 1

Yesterday my sisterfriend unfortunatly had to cancel due to having to work.  It was sucky but its who she is.  She helps people who are unable to do it for themselves.  I love her for it! =) 

Instead I spent the evening hanging out with my cousin Trevor who was in town.  We had dinner and then went downtown for drinks.  Then we ended back at my aunt's house and spent two more hours laughing and having a grand time!

Today my plan is to make an apperance at my uncle's 60th birthday party at the lake where I spent many of my fondest childhood summers.  I am saddened that the place isn't like it was many years ago but I still have those memories.

In my next installment, I will share my day and a memory or two.. *smile*